FRONT COVER

This book provides all of the facts in a very reader friendly way. Its ample text (312 pages of large format) provides thoughtful yet direct answers to the 145 most essential questions about life in the Federal Correctional Institution (FCI). This is not a storybook about an inmate’s personal experiences. Here readers can easily find the answers they need without digging through pages of irrelevant yarns. 

​Unlike others, this guide is not marketed to unnecessarily scare people into buying a product. Those who are facing prison time have already been traumatized enough by the feds. Here the author walks you past every pitfall and highlights the many positive aspects as well. The answers provided will eliminate the mysteries that lie before you. This information is certain to give you the comfort and self-confidence you need. Numerous tips, warnings, and special notes will allow you to navigate your voyage like an old salt. 

​The author has a degree in education and spent four years tirelessly researching this material. His old fashion journalistic method involved relentless mining of technical details, and countless interviews with inmates and staff from across the country.  All of the confusing and stressful stuff has been converted into easy to understand language. Rather than offer narrow opinions a real effort was made to back up each point with statistics, legal proof, and factual copy. Whenever possible (more often than not) situations are illustrated which will enable you to turn your nightmare into an enriching, and even fun, experience.

CHAPTER EIGHT: COMMUNICATIONS WITH THE WORLD
• How Often Can I Have Visits?
• Do I Have to Visit Through Glass? Can I Have Conjugal Visits? 
• Who Can and Cannot Visit?
• What if My Visitor Shows Up While I Am At Work?
• How Will I Call People?
​• How Often Can I Make Calls?    
• What Things Can People Send to Me?
• How Will I Send and Receive Mail?
• Can I Send Packages Out?
​• Will Officials Read My Mail?
• Is There Anyone with Whom I Am Forbidden to Correspond?
• Can I Write to the News Media?

• How Can I Locate a Friend Who is in Federal Prison and Get that
• Person’s Address?

CHAPTER NINE: YOUR PRISON JOB
• I Hate Work! Do I Have to Have a Job?
• Do I Start Working as Soon as I Arrive?
• What Types of Jobs Do They Have?
• Is There a Jobs List Posted? Which Jobs Are Best?
• How Much Do Prison (FCI) Jobs Pay?
• Are There any Jobs that Require Special Skills?
• What is UNICOR?

​CHAPTER TEN: STAYING OUT OF TROUBLE
• How Will I Remember All of the Rules?
• How Will I Know Which Staff Members are in Charge of What?
• What Things Will I Have to Do?
• What Sort of Things Can I Get in Trouble For?
• Will I Be Drug Tested?
• What Does it Mean When the Compound is Closed?
• What Happens During a Shakedown?
• What if I Have a Problem With Another Inmate?
• What are the Guards Like?

• I Am a Gay Man, Should I Be Concerned about Abuse from
• Other Inmates?
• I Am Going to a Medium Security FCI, Should I Be Concerned About 
• My Safety?

• Will Other Inmates Steal My Things?
• How Can I Keep Other Inmates from Bumming Stuff?

CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE GOOD FOLKS INSIDE 
• What Are the People Like in Prison (FCI)?
• How Can I Deal With the Culture Shock?
• How Will I Make Friends in Prison (FCI)?
• Is There Prison Etiquette That I Should Know About?
• Is There Any Racial Tension?
• Is There Any Gang Violence?

CHAPTER TWELVE: SHOPPING AND FINANCES 
​• How Will the Amount of My Fine Be Determined?
• How Am I Suppose to Pay Fines?

• Without Currency, How Am I Suppose
• to Buy Stuff?

• How Much Money Will I Need Each Week?
• How Will I Know How Much Money Is in My Account?
• Can I Withdraw Funds From My Account to Send Home to My Family?
• Can My Family Wire Me Money from Mexico?
• What if My Family Is Broke and Cannot Send Me any Money?
• How Does Prison (FCI) Barter Work?    
• When is the Store Open; Can I Shop Whenever I Want?
• What Sort of Things Are Sold at the Commissary?
• What Things Will I Need to Buy Right Away?
• How Can I Get Special Hobby Craft or Sports Equipment?

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: PASTIMES 
• How Can I Earn a College Degree?
• What Sort of Free Classes and Programs May I Take?    
• What Is the Leisure Library Like?
• May I Use the Internet?
• What is There To Do at the Rec Yard?    
• What is There To Do for Fun and Entertainment?
• What Types of Religious Gatherings Are There?
• May I Have Personal Religious Items?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: PREPARING TO GO HOME 
​

• When I Leave to Go Home, Will They Really Give Me a Cheap Suit and 
• a Hundred Dollar Bill?

• May I Change My Address Before I Go Home?
• Will My Conviction Result in the Suspension of My Driver’s License?
• What Is a Halfway House?

• Is There Anything That Could Keep Me From Going to a
• Halfway House?

• How Will I Get My Prescription Medication After I Leave to Go to the
• Halfway House?

• What Sort of Things Will I Be Required To Do at the Halfway  House?
• How Much of My Pay Will I Have To Give To the Halfway House?
• What Sort of Rules Do They Have at the Halfway House?
• Halfway House Contraband
• Dress Code
​• Visiting Rules

• I’ve Never Had a Real Job. Who Will Hire an Ex-Con With No 
• Work History?

EXTRAS 
• STANDARD BUREAU ABBREVIATIONS.
• GLOSSARY OF INSTITUTIONAL TERMS.
• GLOSSARY OF INMATE SLANG.
• ABBREVIATIONS of FACILITY TYPES.
• FEMALE FEDERAL PRISON TYPES AND LOCATIONS AT-A-GLANCE.
• B.O.P. FACILITIES AND GENERAL INFORMATION BY STATE

BACK COVER

TABLE OF CONTENTS

IN ADDITION TO ANSWERS TO 145 ESSENTIALQUESTIONS ABOUT FEDERAL PRISON, MAD DOG’S GUIDE TO CLUB FED ALSO CONTAINS:

MAD DOG’S GUIDE TO CLUB FED WAS WRITTEN FOR THOSE WHO ARE FACING TIME IN FEDERAL PRISON AND FOR THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT THEM.

• The Offense Severity Scale. 
• Important websites and mailing addresses.
• A Good Time Credit Chart (time off for good behavior).
• Prison transfer codes and descriptions.
• Complete descriptions of prison types and security levels.
• Sentencing Table with step-by step explanations.
• Point (inmate status) calculation charts with  step-by 
• step explanations.
​• Gun offenses and their sentence lengths.
• Immigration offenses and their sentence lengths.
• Drug Quantity Table and sentence lengths.
• Drug offender definitions with sentence lengths.
• Standard prison law library books.
• Standard legal form descriptions.
• Listing of Program Statements (regulations) codes and descriptions.
• Standard visitation and telephone policies.
• List of Prohibited Acts and Recommended Disciplines.
• Fine Table.
• List of typical commissary goods and prices including items from
• both male and female facilities.
• Listing of halfway house policies and rules.
• Complete listing of federal institutions; addresses, phone numbers,
• security levels, inmate populations and available drug programs (for
​• a one year sentence reduction).

INTRODUCTION

​CHAPTER ONE: INITIAL SHOCK WAVE
• Why is this happening?
​• I’m Going to Prison and I’m Freaked Out!
• How Much Trouble Am I In?
• Offense Severity Scale.
• How Will I Know Which Attorney to Hire?
• What Does It Mean to Cooperate?
• What If They Want Me to Snitch on My Friends?
• Should I Make a Run for It?

• I Received a Sentence of Five Years, How Much Time Will I 
• Actually Do?

​• Projected Good Behavior Deductions.    
• I Was Handed a 20 Year Sentence, Can I Still Go to a FCI Low Security?

CHAPTER TWO:PRESERVING YOUR OUTSIDE WORLD 
• Will My Significant Other Leave Me?
• Can I Get Married in Prison (FCI)?
• Will I Maintain a Relationship With My Kids?
​• What Should I Do With My Stuff While I’m Gone?
• How Will I Handle My Taxes While I’m in Prison?
• Should I Cancel My Credit Cards and Close My Bank Account?
• The Feds Really Did a Job on My Finances, Is My Credit Ruined?

​CHAPTER THREE: PREPARING FOR YOUR NEW WORLD 
• What Things Can I Do To Prepare?
• What Are The Worst Things About Life in the FCI?
• Is There Any Advice That Should Be Avoided?
• All This Happy-Gab Sounds Like a Load of Crap to Me!

CHAPTER FOUR: BON VOYAGE 
• What Is a Federal Transfer Station?
• What Happens After I Self Surrender?
• What Things Can I Take With Me When I Surrender?
​• What Should I Do As Soon As I Get There?

CHAPTER FIVE: A PREVIEW OF YOUR NEW HOME 
• Is It Dirty in Prison (FCI)?
• What is The Hole Like?
• What Is Prison (FCI) Low Like?
• What Are the Cells Like?
​• Will I Be Locked in My Cell at Night?
• Can I Choose My Cellie (Cellmate)?
• Can I Decorate My Room the Way I Want To?
• How Much Storage Space Will I Have?
• Am I Free To Wander Around as I Please?
• I’m a Night Person, Will They Make Me Get Up Early?
• Which Is the Best, FCI (Low Security) or Camp?
• I Like My FCI. Can They Make Me Leave to Go To a Camp?    
• Can I Get Transferred to a Different Prison?
• What Will I Wear?
​• How Will I Get a Haircut?
• How Will I Wash My Clothes?
• How Can I Get a Bottom Bunk Pass?
• What’s the Drug Program Like?
• How’s The Food?
• What If I Have Special Food Needs?
• Can I Smoke? 

CHAPTER SIX: MEDICAL AND CATASTROPHIC CONCERNS
• What Happens If I Tell Them I Feel Suicidal?
• What if I Have a Medical or Family Emergency While I’m in Prison?
• Can I Go to My Mother’s Funeral?
• What Happens if I Get Sick or Hurt?
• What Sort of Medical Tests Will I Be Given After I Arrive?
• I Have Chronic Health Concerns!
• How Will I Get My Daily Medications?    
• What If I Need to See a Medical Specialist or Have Surgery?
• I Am Pregnant and Going to  Federal Prison, What Are My Options?
• I Have Hepatitis C, Will I Get Treatment?
• If I Get a Toothache, Will They Really Just Pull The Tooth?
• What if I Need a Hearing Aid?
• What Happens if I Need a Pair of Eyeglasses?
• Can I See My Medical Files?

​CHAPTER SEVEN: LEGAL ISSUES 

• What About the Big Supreme Court Decision That Is About to Change
• All of the Rules, Will This Save Me?

• What Were the Blakey, Booker, and Fanfan Cases About?
• How Can I Get Private Calls and Visits With My Attorney?
• What Should I Do If I Have Warrants or Pending State Charges, too?
• What Is a Writ?
• What Is a Detainer?
• How Will I Know If There Is a Detainer Lodged Against Me?
• How Will They Determine Which Prison I Go To?

• What Is the Difference Between Sentencing Guidelines 
• and Mandatory Minimums?

• How Does The Sentencing Table Work?
• Federal Sentencing Table.
• What Are Points?
​• How Will Having a Federal Gun Charge Effect My Prison Sentence?

• I Am Charged With an Illegal Immigration Issue! How Much Prison 
• Time Am I Looking At?

• Offenses Involving Immigration, Naturalization, and Passports.
• What is the crack Amendment?

• I Have Been Charged With a Federal Drug Crime. How Much Prison 
• Time Will I Receive?

​• Drug Quantity Table.
• Will I Have to Give My DNA?
• How Can I Get Legal Help and Do Research Inside?
• Helpful Legal Forms in Law Library.
• B.O.P. Program Statements (Regulations).